


Return To The Madhouse

by knitekat



Series: Tea And Crackers [3]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Gen, Insanity, Squirrels, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 02:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2092428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knitekat/pseuds/knitekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick receives an email late at night from Lester and regrets getting involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Return To The Madhouse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fredbassett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/gifts).



> Thanks go to Fififolle for the beta.

Nick sighed and opened yet another email from Lester; it was late and all he wanted to do was to go home but he had learnt that you ignored messages from Lester at your peril. Who knew what he might do if Nick didn't keep an eye on him? Nick took a sip of his coffee as he waited for it to open. His eyes widened as he read the email before he began to splutter and cough. Nick pondered his options as he stared at the email through the coffee running down the screen. He could leave this to Claudia to sort out in the morning or... Nick stood up and decided to see Lester now. After all, he wouldn't get any more work done tonight and possibly none until the IT department – or Connor – checked and de-coffee-ed his laptop.

***

Nick found himself outside Lester's office far faster than he had expected and still with no idea what he was going to say to the man. He couldn't help feeling this was a bad idea, that maybe he should leave dealing with Lester to Claudia, after all, she seemed to understand him. Unfortunately, Lester opened his door before Nick could make his escape.

“Cutter? Did you want something? I was just going home.”

Nick swallowed and nodded. Could he really trust Claudia to deal with this problem? “Can I have a quick word.”

Lester looked pointedly at his watch before sighing. 

“It won't take long, Lester. It's just about your last email.” At Lester's quirked eyebrow, Nick added, “About Anthony.”

“Ah. Yes.” Lester stepped back and motioned Nick to enter. “What about him?”

“Please tell me you're not serious.” Nick couldn't help his outburst, even though in hindsight, just blurting it out might not have been the most sensible way to approach the situation.

“Cutter?” Lester had resumed his seat behind his desk, his hands steepled as he considered the professor. “I thought you and Anthony were friends.”

“Friends?” Nick was really beginning to regret entering the office, he should have left it to Claudia. Why hadn't he left it to Claudia? She knew how to deal with Lester when he was... well, when he was more bonkers than normal. 

“Yes, Cutter, friends.” Lester was speaking slowly before sighing. “You seemed to get on when you came to dinner...” Lester tilted his head, “Although, now I think about it, you were rather eager to leave.” He leaned forward in his chair. “I do hope you aren't prejudiced towards him. You're not on their side, are you?”

Nick almost spluttered again. “Their side? Whose side?” He really was in over his head and wanted nothing more than to leave. Except Lester might react badly and who knew what the man might do if Nick didn't go along with his delusions. Why hadn't Nick spoken out when he had the chance? He could have told Lester's superiors and... probably have ended up with that ghastly woman, Christine Johnson, in charge. No, Lester really was the best of a bad choice, at least, if you ignored the fact that he was probably certifiably insane.

Lester looked around his office before almost whispering. “Them. The greys.”

“Oh. Them,” Nick repeated. “No, I've nothing to do with the greys.” Or, although it might surprise Lester to know, any other type of squirrel.

Lester nodded, seemingly satisfied with Nick's answer. “That's good.” He glanced at his watch before turning back to Nick. “Was there anything else?”

Nick shook his head, only too glad to escape the office and Lester's delusions as soon as possible. Next time, he'd leave Lester to Claudia.

***

The next morning found Nick almost afraid to open his brand new laptop. He really wanted a coffee before he faced whatever emails Lester had sent... except he had been banned from having a coffee or any other drink within ten feet of his – or anyone else's – computer. Apparently they didn't grow on trees. Nick was glad to hear that, as he rather doubted he could deal with another of Lester's delusions.

Nick took a deep breath and slowly opened his inbox to find a flurry of emails. Several from Claudia to Lester and back again that had been copied to him – he had a feeling by Claudia in an attempt to stop him doing something stupid like confronting Lester, although, Nick did wish she'd sent them last night before he'd attempted to talk to him. Nick considered opening them but he could imagine what they said and he really didn't want to read about squirrel rights or whatever nonsense Lester might come out with. Nick groaned as he imagined Lester setting up an organisation dedicated to equal opportunities for squirrels (red). All Nick could hope for was that Claudia had talked him out of hiring Anthony. Then Lester's secret really would be out in the open and, well, Nick really didn't want that ghastly women in charge. He suspected he'd get away with a lot less with someone sane – or whatever passed for sane in government – than he currently managed. There were some perks to working for a bonkers boss. 

Finally, Nick couldn't stand not knowing and opened what appeared to be the last email sent on the subject. He held his breath as it opened and had to read it twice before he smiled and slumped in relief. It looked as if Claudia had talked some sense into Lester, at least for now.

***

Nick found himself the last to leave Lester's office and paused at the door. “So, Anthony's not going to work here?”

Lester sighed and shook his head. “No. He's gone.”

Nick quirked an eyebrow. Did this mean Lester had recovered? Could you just become sane after whatever type of breakdown Lester had had? “Oh?”

Lester nodded. “Yes. I threw him out. He was becoming too needy and demanding.”

Nick slowly nodded. OK, Lester was as bonkers as ever but now without Anthony. Was that a good thing or very bad? Nick couldn't help wondering if that news meant Lester was even crazier than he had been. “Sorry to hear that.” 

Lester shrugged. “He needed to stand on his own feet. To get out there and fight for what he believes in.”

Nick nodded again and edged slightly further out the door. “Um. I better get back to work now.” Not to mention that he needed to talk to Claudia about this new development. 

“Yes, you should.” Lester bent his head over his paperwork before looking back up at Nick. “And shut the door, I don't want to be disturbed.” 

Nick barely caught Lester's last comment just before he closed the door. 

“Especially by squirrels.”

That didn't sound good and Nick quickly made his way towards Claudia's office. He needed to talk to her now, and possibly to Lieutenant Owen as well. If Lester was losing it more than he already had, they needed to be prepared to catch the pieces and... Nick sighed to himself... and to put Lester back together again. As much as Nick worried about working for the man, even he had to admit Lester did a good job. Especially considering he was bloody, stark-raving bonkers.


End file.
